Funny Vietnamese folk tales

Your Shirt is on Fire

A wealthy old man had a servant who was quite impulsive—he spoke whatever came to mind, wherever part of the stories he was, without any beginning or end to his stories. One day, the old man called him over and said:

“You never speak with any structure. People laugh at both you and me. From now on, whenever you say anything, make sure it has a proper beginning and end, understood?”

The servant quickly agreed.

One day, the old man was dressed and ready to go out. He was sitting, smoking his pipe, when the servant suddenly stood before him, hands clasped respectfully, and solemnly said:

“Sir, the silkworm spins silk. People gather the silk and sell it to the Chinese. The Chinese weave it into fine gauze, then sell it back to us. You bought the gauze and had it tailored into a shirt. Today, you are wearing that shirt while smoking. The cigarette ash has fallen onto your shirt, and—your shirt is on fire.”

Startled, the old man looked down—his shirt had already burned a hole the size of his palm. He yelled:

“Why didn’t you tell me directly?”

The servant replies:

“Because you told me that I must have the beginning and the ending whenever I say something!”

Quỳnh and the Temple’s Land

Back when Quỳnh was a poor student, he had to request land from Sòng Temple to farm. The temple, in his hometown, was dedicated to Lady Liễu, a revered deity known for her divine power—everyone feared her presence. Lady Liễu owned vast farmland and allowed sharecropping in exchange for a portion of the harvest.

When Quỳnh first sought permission, he asked through divination whether the goddess wanted the “roots” or the “tops” of the crops he would grow. She chose the tops, so that season, Quỳnh planted sweet potatoes. When harvest time came, he took all the tubers home and respectfully delivered only the vines to the temple.

The next season, he asked again, and this time, Lady Liễu requested the roots. So Quỳnh planted rice. At harvest, he took all the grain for himself and returned only the leftover stalks.

Twice deceived, Lady Liễu was furious but had already made her divine pronouncement and could not take it back. The third time, she declared she would take both the roots and the tops, leaving only the middle portion for Quỳnh. Pretending to be dismayed, he protested, “If you take both, what’s left for me?”

Despite his pleas, she did not change her decision. So Quỳnh planted corn. When harvest time came, he kept all the corn cobs and delivered only the stalks and roots to the temple.

Tricked three times, Lady Liễu reclaimed her land, but by then, Quỳnh had already gathered a considerable fortune from his clever farming strategy.

Pregnant male goat

The reputation of a child prodigy quickly spread far and wide, reaching even the capital. The king, eager to test the truth, but also a patron of talent, devised a peculiar decree: Every village in Thanh Hóa province must submit a pregnant male goat within two months. Any village that failed to do so would face punishment.

The absurdity of this order sent the people of Thanh Hóa into panic. In Quỳnh’s village, confusion and fear spread—where could they possibly find such an impossible creature? No one had ever heard of a pregnant male goat! But when Quỳnh heard about it, he calmly said to his father:

“This is nothing to worry about. Just tell the villagers to prepare a hundred quan coins and enough rice for my journey—I’ll find a pregnant male goat for the village.”

His father was doubtful but relayed the message. Though some believed Quỳnh, others were skeptical. With no alternatives, they followed his request. The next morning, Quỳnh and his father set off for the capital.

Arriving just as the king was passing through the eastern gate, Quỳnh positioned himself by the roadside drain and began to wail loudly. The unusual crying caught the king’s attention, and he ordered his guards to bring the boy forward.

Feigning ignorance of the king’s identity, Quỳnh wailed even louder and lamented:

“My mother passed away years ago, yet I keep asking my father to give birth to a younger sibling for me to care for, but he refuses!”

The king chuckled and said, “What a foolish child. Your father is a man—how could he possibly give birth?”

That was all Quỳnh needed. He immediately stopped crying, respectfully clasped his hands, and solemnly replied:

“Sir, yet the king has ordered my village to present a pregnant male goat!”

The king was taken aback, instantly recognizing the cleverness of the boy—this must be the prodigy he had heard so much about.

The King’s Cat

The king had a rare calico cat, adorned with a golden chain and fed only the finest delicacies.

Upon seeing the cat, Quỳnh devised a plan to steal it. He replaced the gold chain with an iron one and kept the cat locked away. At mealtime, he deliberately let the cat go hungry before presenting two dishes—one with rice mixed with fish and meat, and the other with rice and vegetables. The king’s cat, accustomed to rich food, rushed toward the fish and meat. But Quỳnh was prepared; he struck the cat whenever it tried to eat the meat. Starving, the cat was eventually forced to eat the vegetable dish. After repeating this for some time, the cat grew accustomed to a simple diet and dared not eat anything but vegetables. Only then did Quỳnh release it.

The king lamented the loss of his precious cat and sent people to search for it. Soon, they discovered that Quỳnh had a calico cat identical to the king’s, raising suspicion. The king summoned Quỳnh and examined the cat.

“Why does it look exactly like mine? Did you take my cat because you found it beautiful? Speak the truth!” the king demanded.

Quỳnh respectfully replied, “Your Majesty suspects me of theft, but I am innocent. If Your Majesty wishes to verify the truth, we can conduct a test.”

“What test?” the king asked.

“Your Majesty lives in wealth, so your cat eats meat and fish. But I am poor, and my cat eats rice mixed with shrimp heads and boiled vegetables. If we present both meals before the cat, the one it chooses will reveal the truth,” Quỳnh explained.

The king ordered the test. Without hesitation, the cat rushed to the vegetable dish and devoured it. Quỳnh then bowed and said, “Your Majesty, just as the wealthy enjoy fine cuisine while the poor live humbly on simple food, a cat adapts to its master’s circumstances.”

The king accepted the explanation, and Quỳnh was allowed to take his cat home.

Quỳnh and the “Longevity Peach”

Quỳnh was immensely proud of his wit and never hesitated to jest—even with the highest authorities. One day, while on duty in the royal court, someone presented the king with a tray of peaches, called “longevity peaches.”

Without hesitation, Quỳnh casually walked over, picked up a peach, and began eating—right in front of the king and his assembled officials, acting as if no one was there. The king was displeased and ordered his ministers to deliberate on Quỳnh’s punishment. Based on the strict “Disrespecting the Monarch” law, they proposed the death penalty.

Quỳnh knelt and solemnly addressed the king:

“Your Majesty, the ministers have judged me correctly—indeed, I have committed an offense and deserve punishment. However, I humbly beg Your Majesty to allow me a few last words before I die.”

The king, intrigued, permitted him to speak.

“Your Majesty,” Quỳnh began, “I greatly cherish life and fear an untimely death. When I saw the fruit named ‘Longevity Peach,’ I thought that eating it would grant me the longevity of ancient immortals like Bành Tổ, so I could serve Your Majesty with unwavering loyalty for many years. But alas! Before I could even finish chewing, death was already at my throat! In that case, the fruit should be called the ‘Short-lived Peach’ instead. Furthermore, I suggest punishing the one who presented it, to rid the court of sycophants.”

The king burst into laughter at Quỳnh’s clever reasoning and pardoned him.

Quỳnh Outsmarts the Lord One Last Time

Later on, the Lord harbored deep resentment toward Quỳnh. After ten days, he summoned Quỳnh for a royal feast, secretly plotting to poison him. Aware of the Lord’s lingering grudge, Quỳnh suspected treachery. Before departing, he instructed his family:

“Today, I go to attend the Lord’s feast—fortune is scarce, danger is plenty. If anything happens to me, do not announce my death immediately. First, lay me in a hammock, have two servants fan me, and call musicians to play. Only when the Lord’s palace declares mourning, shall you announce my passing.”

With these words, he set off.

Upon arriving at the palace, he found the Lord already seated. The Lord said:

“It has been too long since I’ve seen you—I have long yearned for your company. Recently, I was presented with the finest seafood, and it reminded me of you. I summoned you to this feast, and you must not refuse.”

Quỳnh, knowing the Lord’s vengeful heart, had no choice but to eat. As he tasted the first bite, the Lord suddenly asked:

“When will you die, Quỳnh?”

Quỳnh calmly responded:

“The day Your Lordship passes, I shall perish as well.”

After finishing his meal, he felt unusual and hurried home, where he soon collapsed. His family followed his instructions precisely. The Lord, suspicious, sent spies to check on Quỳnh, only to find him lying in a hammock, listening to music while his household carried on as usual. The report puzzled the Lord, so he summoned the palace chef and demanded to know why the poison had not worked.

To prove its potency, the Lord himself ate a portion—and shortly after, he collapsed and died.

News of the Lord’s death spread, and Quỳnh’s family officially declared mourning. Thus, the cunning scholar had deceived the Lord till his final breath.

This famous exchange inspired a saying:

“When the scholar dies, so does the Lord—
Like the melon ripens, so does the tomato.”

Behold my wisdom

A long time ago, Tiger had no stripe, but a golden fur instead. One day, when coming to the border of the forest, he caught sight of a big water buffalo that was being hit many times by a small creature that seemed a lot weaker than the buffalo. That creature was Man. As the buffalo was plowing, the farmer said in a rhythm:

– Buffalo, Buffalo! Let’s go! Let’s go! Don’t be so slow!

 The verses sound good. So, Buffalo walked slower as he was enjoying it. This made the Man mad, and he hit him again. This time, the buffalo screamed:

– That HURTS!

Man shouted:

– GO FAST!

At this point, Tiger became so curious as to why the strong buffalo had to suffer from a weak creature like Man. Later, when the Man took some rest under a tree and the buffalo was grazing in the meadow, Tiger came near to Buffalo and asked:

 – Hey, you’re big and strong! Why did you let Man beat you up like that?

Buffalo responded in a low tone:

– He may seem weak, but he has wisdom!

– What is wisdom? Tiger asked

 – I don’t know, responded Buffalo, but it’s kind of magical! If you want to know, ask Man!

Then, Tiger walked quickly to the Man, who was drowsy, and asked:

– Hey! Where’s your wisdom? Show me!

Upon seeing the Tiger, Man was so scared that his face paled and he started sweating all over. Tiger continued:

– Don’t worry! I won’t eat you! … As long as you show me your wisdom!

It still took some more time for Man to calm down, after which, he said:

 – Oh! I left it at home! Let me go home and bring it to you! If you like, I’ll give you some!

Tiger was very happy to hear this. The man started to walk as if he was really walking home, but after a few steps, he returned to the Tiger and said:

– I wanna get some wisdom for you, but I’m really afraid that you might eat my buffalo after I leave!

Tiger didn’t know what to say. So, Man continued:

 – Is it okay if I just tie you to the tree for a while? I will be back very soon with the wisdom, and then I will untie you!

Tiger thought to himself, it’s worth being roped for a while to have wisdom. Besides, he is the King of the jungle, who would want to mess up with him? So, he agreed. Man roped him very tight and then left.

A moment after Man left, The rabbit – the Rabbit came. The rabbit was so happy to see Tiger tied up to a tree. He teased Tiger:

I guess it should be

– Hey Tiger! Do you get tired of being tied up on the tree like that?

 Instead of getting mad, Tiger responded proudly:

– I did this so that Man can go home and get me some wisdom without worrying about me eating his buffalo!

 – Wisdom? – Asked the rabbit.

–  Yes! – roared Tiger – So, GET AWAY before I tear you into pieces!

Right at that time, a young bird came. The little bird giggled at Tiger:

– Oh! A tiger has been tied to a tree! Hihi…

A mischievous idea flashed through The rabbit’s mind. He told the bird:

– Yes! He’s waiting for Man to bring him some wisdom! It would be very nice to have other creatures see this! So, let’s go and tell everybody!  So, they may come quickly, just tell them that … Tiger is being tied near the jungle’s border!

Then, the bird flew away immediately before Tiger could stop her. The rabbit also walked away.

Soon later, he came back with some honey stuck on his fingers. He teased Tiger:

– You know! Yesterday, when you tried to eat me, I was so scared, I wanted to get away from you as soon as possible! But surprisingly, today I stand so close to you and feel so awesome!

 Then, he patted Tiger’s fur:

 – Wow! Such a silky coat!

Tiger could feel something sticking his hair together as The rabbit patted his fur, but he wasn’t sure what it was. He quickly found out that it was honey when a moment later, many honeybees came and stung him in hatred. Feeling so itchy, Tiger tried to get the rope untied, but he could not.

Not long later, a group of squirrels came to sit on a branch of the tree near Tiger. After quarreling for a while, a little one jumped down to the ground and, headed toward Tiger. When Tiger saw him, he bowed over Tiger and said:

– My dear Majesty! Today, I’m gonna protect you!

Tiger sighed. The King of the jungle was protected by … a squirrel? The little squirrel did not seem to care about that. He turned his back toward the other squirrels on the tree, and pretended as if he was about to stop the nuts from the above creatures from hitting Tiger. However, when the nuts were flung down, he swayed to the left and swung to the right as if he were dancing instead of doing anything. Tiger got hit by most of the nuts, but he tried not to shout: “Aw, aw,…” At last, one nut hit Tiger and then fell on the squirrel. The squirrel fainted. The other squirrels got worried for him. But only a few seconds later, he pointed his finger to the sky:

– I’m okay!

Then, he popped up, patted Tiger, and said:

– Oh! It seems that Tiger’s fur is not as smooth as ours!

 Tiger got very angry at this because his fur is his pride. However, that day, his beautiful fur was damaged by the rabbit and these squirrels. He roared:

– You rats! I will tear you all into pieces someday! Otherwise, I wouldn’t be the King of the jungle!

A squirrel immediately reply:

–    Yeah! In that case, you should learn how to climb a tree first!

After this, all the squirrels laughed again. Tiger was so angry but he couldn’t find a way to retort. The fact that he was roped in attracted a lot of animals coming to see him. Most of them are those who are not his prays. He prays, of course, afraid that he will capture them when he is released. Though, this is embarrassing enough. Tiger hates Rabbit! Tiger hates Man! He thought of eating Man after having wisdom, as a punishment for Man’s lateness that cost him so many endurings.

Finally, Man came back. He got a lot of straw on his shoulder. Tiger thought: “Yummy! This is going to be tasty!” However, his human-flesh dinner was yet to come. The Man did not release him. Instead, Man gathered straw around Tiger, set it on fire and shouted:

– Behold my wisdom! Behold my wisdom!

The flames burned fiercely. Tiger roared in pain and tried to get out of the ropes. However, only after the fire burned through the ropes that Tiger got out of the place. He ran away rapidly without looking back. Many animals laughed at that scene. When Tiger got into a pond, the fire stopped. Nonetheless, when he looked at himself, there were so many black stripes on his body. He cried in his heart.

The later day, when Tiger go to a stream to drink some water, there were rabbits on the other side of the stream. Suddenly, a baby rabbit saw him, and shouted happily while pushing her father:

–    Hey, dad! I saw a zebra! This is the first zebra I’ve ever seen in my life!

Turned his back, The rabbit looked at Tiger. He couldn’t help laughing. After a long while, he said to Tiger:

–    Oh, Mr. Tiger, nice coat! My little girl didn’t know what happened to you yesterday. So, she thought you’re a zebra!